Monday, October 26, 2009

bad night.

why do you make this hard on me?
or rather, why do i make things hard on me?
it's just not fair how you can't let me be
there's only one way it can go but you're refusing

i won't
i try
but i can't

you turn your back and my stars all crumble
tiny morsels down the drain now tumble
im starving for more than you can give
this fix

every time i swear it's my last
but each time i come crawling back
on hands and knees, i'm in the wrong
there's just nothing i can turn to

i won't
i try

you turn your back and my stars all crumble
tiny morsels down the drain now tumble
im starving for more than you can give
this fix

fix this
fix this
this fix
this fix

Thursday, October 15, 2009

made me smile

"Today, I just lost a bet to a homeless man he guessed what state I was born in (an infant), how many kids my father had (0 my mom had the kids) , and how many letters where in your last name (12 "your last name"). Best two dollars I ever lost. MLIA"

"Today, I was doing PR for our city police department and talking to kids about 911. I asked a group of preschoolers if any of them could tell me what their address was. A little girl immediately raised her hand and told me that a dress was a something you pulled over your head to wear. Best answer I heard all day. MLIA."

Today a guy in my history class said he couldn't take the test because he was suffering from sexual exhaustion. Without looking up from her desk, the teacher said, "That's ok, just use the other hand." MLIA

Today, when I asked my son how hitting his brother in the eye could be "an accident," he replied, "I was trying to hit him in the nose." MLIA

Today, my friend and I were playing with an application on his iphone, which is similar to a magic 8 ball. He asked it several questions and kept getting similar lame responses, such as "outlook isn't good," "not in a million years," "ask again later," etc. He got frustrated, and exclaimed, "Oh yea! Well I bet you don't have a girlfriend, do you Mr. 8 Ball!" It responded with, "Ask your mom." It could not have been a more perfect response. MLIA.

Today, my teacher told us that he found out the gender of his soon-to-be child. It's a girl. My classmates were asking him what him and his wife are thinking for names. He said they've decided to name her Brooke Lynn. Everyone aww'd at how nice of a name, till I remembered his last name is Bridge. I laughed so hard I snorted. No one got it. MLIA

Today, my American Sign Language class learned the sign for "drinking water": to mimic moving an invisible bottle to your mouth. A girl performed the motion with her hand in a tight fist rather than her hands cupped. The teacher broke out laughing hysterically. Little did we know she just signed "blowjob." MLIA

Today, my brother had tons of animal crackers on the floor looking through them. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." I have high hopes for him. MLIA.

Today in history, my teacher was talking about the women and horses that died during the crusades, and how horses were considered more important. "You can't ride a woman", he said, paused, laughed, then said "Well, you can, but I don't know how effective it would be in battle."He's definitely my favourite teacher. MLIA

Today, a man called me by accident. When I told him he had the wrong number he replied "No, you just have the wrong phone." Touché, phone man. MLIA.

Today, another physics teacher walked in to my physics class. My teacher started joking with him, and asked him, "Why don't you teach any AP classes?". In response, The teacher said "I don't know, I guess I just don't have A.P-ness." When the whole class burst out laughing, he didn't get it. It took him five minutes to realize what he had said. MLIA.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 is the best

Today, I went to the local orchard. They have a play area, with a rule sign at the gate. The first five rules were normal, like don't throw things, and wear the wristband for proof of purchase. The sixth rule was "Parents, don't leave your kids unsupervised". Underneath that, in italics, read "Kids left unsupervised will be given espresso and promised a bunny". My parents and I started cackling madly. MLIA

Today, my brother asked my mom why wearing no underwear is called "commando." She replied, "Because commando means you're ready to attack.". My mom just got significantly cooler. MLIA

Today, I was forced to put up Halloween decorations with my 3 year old cousin. She picked up a plastic bone, and proceeded to name him Mr. Boner. She thought it would be appropriate to carry around her new plastic friend, and introduce him to strangers. Thank you my little cousin for making such a boring task so incredibly awesome. MLIA.

Today, I was talking to my older cousin about how much I hate my last name, Dill. She then asked me to think about how she feels because her name is Chrystal Leer. I didn't understand until she reminded me her middle name is shanda. Chrystal Shanda Leer. I love my Aunt and Uncle a little bit more now. MLIA

Today, I recieved a birthday card from my 80 year old grandmother. The card read, "Here's 50 bucks. I still love you. Even though you never f-ing call me anymore." I now have the utmost respect for her. MLIA

Today , I decided to tell my family a riddle that goes like this: "When you have it you want to share it, but when you share it you don't have it. What is it?" The expected answer to the riddle is "a secret", but my little brother said "Virginity?" I love him a little more now. MLIA

Today, I walked into my family room to see my mom watching the video of her marriage to my stepdad, because she wanted to transfer the VCR to a DVD. I got there right in time to watch myself walk down the aisle as the flower girl. Half way down, I dumped out the remaining flower petals in the basket and put the basket on my head. I proceeded to skip the rest of the way down the aisle. Way to go, little me. MLIA

A while ago, I found out that "Liar, Liar Pants On Fire" translated into French and back comes back to say "Teller of Untruths, Your Trousers Have Combusted". I laughed. MLIA

Today, I discovered that the roof of my apartment leaks when it rains. Right into my sink. I'm still not sure if there's a problem. MLIA

Today, I was teasing my mom on the phone about my cousin who is pregnant without revealing who is actually pregnant. I was giving her hints such as they're 18 years old, it's not that surprising etc etc. Finally she said "who is it, you?" I paused slightly and asked her how she knew, she freaked out for ten minutes then hung up the phone. I don't know what's more surprising, that my mom forgets that I'm really twenty-one, or that my mom thinks men can get pregnant.

Today, we had a substitute in class. Right before she began to call the roll, everyone in my class decided that we were gonna say "chop" when our name was called. She started calling everyone's name and was confused at first about our responses, but soon went along with it. When the very last person's name was called, instead of saying "chop" he replied "timber!" and we all fell out of our seats. Easily the best homeroom ever. MLIA.

Today, while walking home I saw a banana peel in the middle of the road. I thought nothing of it until finding an empty turtle shell a few feet away. Someone has been playing Mario Kart in my neighborhood. MLIA

Today I noticed a sign on a door that said "This door is alarmed". Underneath it someone had written "What startled it?". MLIA.

Today, I was on the computer. I looked and saw the Microsoft Word paperclip guy but Word was not open. He winked at me and then disappeared. I'm worried. MLIA

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I saw a car that was exactly like mine, down to the color. I parked next to it, and left a note on the windshield that said "Sick ride!" When I was leaving the store, I found a note on my windshield. It read: "Thank you, my dear vehicular twin." It made me very happy. MLIA

Today, I was talking with this girl I met the other day and she asked when my birthday was. I told her it was September 31st. She screamed and told me that was her birthday as well. There is no September 31st. MLIA

Today I was looking through some old papers from 2nd grade. I noticed that on one of my spelling tests I had spelled "penis" instead of "pennies". I wish I could have seen my teachers face. MLIA

Today, I was texting my friend and I wanted to say "you're a weirdo" but the setting on my phone shows what it thinks the next word will be and it came up with "you're a chicken sandwich". Much better choice than my first one. MLIA.

Today, I got a book for my college class from the college bookstore. On the side of the book, there is a sticker that says "I'm Used, I'm Cheap, And I'm Available". I think my book is a prostitute. MLIA

hope this makes u smile :]

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


it rained for the first time in AGES today!
you have no idea how good of a mood ive been in.
i swear, give me some rain and ill be one happy bee regardless of what happens.
i hope it rains tomorrow and the day after and the day after and the day after...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

warm fuzzy feelings arise

doesnt she just make your heart melt?

i love babies

money can buy marshmallows.

i want to punch the person that said "money cant buy happiness" in the face.

really, you must have been a really rich stinker, because if i had a few hundred bucks laying aroun
d here, i sure as hell know that my life would be a whole lot happier.

money isnt everything, blah, blah, blah.
but it really becomes
something when you find yourself thinking of that first before you do anything.

haha im not living in a box, and im not using food stamps or anything.
but having your savings account withdraw the last $4 from your checking account and put you in the red kinda sucks. and then you feel poor.

i really need to find a better job.

a little thought i had for the day.

the journey is where ill live
in laying in bed on a sea of yesterdays
and looking up to a sky of tomorrows
there's nothing more true than the now


sometimes i crack up at the way i think of myself. i sometimes like to consider myself as a "rebel at heart" when, really, there's nothing rebellious about me. sure, we all hate taking orders and obeying the rules, but me, a rebel? yeah. the most rebellious thing i have ever done was to go to high school occasionally out of uniform... that is, by wearing a shirt without a collar. oh, im such a badass.

untitled lyrics.

it's so easy to get lost in your eyes

green, jaded like i was when i met you
but since then everything has changed
i forget the difference between livings

i used to rush in the before

now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

it's hard to remember a time before this
you're a hallmark i use to judge
can something so good can kill me?
if thats the case is it a price i can afford to pay?

i used to rush in the before
now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

can you have the high without addiction?
can you give without giving it all?
can you break the habit without destruction?
what's it gonna take to finally bring the fall?

i used to rush in the before
now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

so i'll just dream
i'll just dream
so i'll just dream here, warm here, safe here
as you pass me by

Saturday, October 10, 2009

i'd really love to do this

"I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA"

bloody brilliant!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

a smile for the coming week

for some reason, im feeling very optimistic for this coming week.
and, trust me, this
never happens haha.
for once, i have absolutely nothing to stress over. [i hope im not jinxing it!]
i have no projects due [b/c i was a smartie and completed/presented it during the first week available instead of waiting 3 weeks down the road], i have no tests, it's not my week to play in piano, and i don't think i have any other engagements. SCORE!
im sorry, but last week i was stressing out like a madwoman with no crack. and when i stress, it's not good, because im prone to meltdowns. i get all melodramatic, i cry, i search for every possible thing wrong in my life, i eat too much, i stay up late, and i strain my relationship with my boy.

yeah, this girl + stress = hell.

but this week, i feel FREEE!

sooo what am i going to do?
perhaps ill keep being productive and finish my work due for the week after :]

haha perhaps all this optimism comes from the fact that i FINALLY changed my sheets and quilt on my bed and cleaned my room.
i feel like i cleaned out a part of my soul.

...whoa, that sounded weird.
but im a very different person after i've cleaned.
OH! and i washed my car yesterday too!
HELLOOOOO good mood! :]]

what a surprise

haha i was looking around on myspace, and on the "people you might know" section, i saw a picture of a guy that i had fallen really hard for in high school. haha, it was bizarre, but after a while he said he "liked" me and then after that mustve been embarrassed because he ended up avoiding me at all costs. now that i look back on it, it's pretty funny, but back then it absolutely tore me to pieces.

and today, i looked on his web page and found out that he's gay.

HAHA, well, it makes sense now.
maybe it was an error, maybe not.
but i can see it.

it's just like wow.
haha i never expected that.

go him, i hope he finds happiness.

but, man, was my perception of him wrong...

Friday, October 2, 2009


now, to balance out the negativity from the last post...


- when my bf says something particularly sweet&sincere
- mastering a piece on piano
- singing/making songs with my bf
- river wins in poker
- dreaming about getting married
- the color turquoise
- overcast/cold/rainy weather
- my room
- birds
- getting letters and packages in the mail
- karma: the belief that what goes around comes around
- shane dawson
- pretty bras
- babies
- family guy [esp evil stewie]
- watching my bf ice skate. he looks like an angel.
- the belief that if there is good there must be evil; you need a balance
- nickelback in concert :]
- folding towels still hot from the dryer on a cool day :]
- warm homemade chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven
- the smell that fills the house when youre baking stuff
- cornbread
- gay marriage
- how your mouth feels after you brush your teeth
- kissing xxxxx
- scarves
- photography
- the smell of air conditioning
- burning logs in the fireplace during holidays
- knowing that ill finally be in the 20s. kinda makes me sad though, but i feel grown up.
- the smell of gasoline/new bags from clothing stores
- reading
good newspapers
- flip flops [esp RAINBOWS]
- the feeling of sand beneath your feet and the wind blowing through your hair
- the beachy smell
- dolphins
- the name Freya
- my favorite kids at work :] SO cute and innocent
- pictures with my boyfriend in them
- mermaids. idk why but i always wished i was a mermaid
- spicy stuff
- good days
- tommy tiernan/gabriel iglesias
- greys anatomy
- the OC
- old disney movies
- being pro-choice
- learning about the brain and certain diseases
- cowboys ;-) [w/o southern accents? HAHA]
- happy endings
- taco bell
- tattoos
- kat von d
- cheap, trashy romances
- having days with no school, no work, no homework, and time to spend with the boyfriend
- finding things out about my comp and fixing computers :]
- drawing funny pictures when i should be paying attention in class
- watching behind the scenes of animated/cartoon shows. i like watching the actors record :]
- katherine heigl
- being barefoot
- pocahontas [movie]
- diaries
- finding money in your pockets that you had forgotten about
- the smell of freshly washed laundry mmmm
- the feeling of just shaved legs -- so silky smooth!
- when my bf just shaved
- lazy days
- long hair [on guys&girls... guys with really long hair are uber hot]
- playing smash bros brawl!
- watching funny movies with my looooove
- the fact that i can show up at his house in a raggedy sweater, frizzy hair, and no makeup on and he'll say i look beautiful [HEART!] some guys ARE like that
- big dogs
- jalapenos
- writing lyrics [when i have inspiration]
- dreaming of going to ireland
- shop therapy!

- when he calls me baby :]

- sparkling headbands
- airy/cute rooms
- lessons i learned from my mom and dad
- being late for school because you found a lost dog in the street and brought it back home :]
- singing harmonies
- very unique names
- wearing tube tops when it's hot
- dippin dots
- ferraro's italian food
- the feeling i get after i help someone out in some way
- looking at the stars at night
- blogging
- lust&romance ;-)
- irish accents
- irish dancing [clogging]
- jewelry
- burning candles
- SUBWAY sandwhiches
- bagels
- blueberry waffles with bologna or cream cheese yummm
- burning candles
- lockets
- flowers [esp. lillies & roses with many colors on them]
- watching makeup tutorials
- wearing sweaters

p.s. i had more but for some reason, the heart symbol deleted everything after it and so at least half of them disappeared :[ i retyped as many as i could remember


ive been penting up a bit of annoyance and frustration within me, especially toward a couple of people.
since im too much of a chicken/would feel too rude to confront anyone, im just going to make a list of my annoyances/dislikes of the moment.
oh and i guess to balance it out ill include a list of likes as well.
wont u join me?
i love reading lists, so feel free to make ur own.
if u do, let me know :-)


- sports/athletes [all of the ones i know are @ssholes]
- competition in general
- when D. thinks he doesnt have to be respectful because he "owns the place"
- when people talk during movies
- "cuz i said": if you're going to use "because i said so" as a reason for something, [which btw is absolutely NO reason at all and, in my opinion, should not be used] at least do us the favor at least complete the damn fragment enough so that it makes sense
- "where you at?" --> for GOD'S SAKE, it's "where are you?"
- when people choose to ignore the fact that they're intruding and are unwanted at the moment
- sarcasm. it just makes you look like a jerk.
- parents that don't parent
- parents that don't discipline their kids
- parents that don't give kids damn breathing room
- when hard drives decide to fry when youre in the process of backing up all your data
- narrow minded people/those unwilling to accept change
- religion [if you turn to religion to have some source of hope, fine. anything else is absurd]
- loud/obnoxious stuff <-- thats vague, i know, sorry
- not having enough money to make ends meet
- self-centeredness
- cleaning [except when im mad. when im mad, i clean like hell. i should be mad all the time lol]

- when people breathe heavily over your shoulder
- hot weather
- "fat days"
- periods
- oversleeping
- arrogance/selfishness
- punk rock
- the saxophone
- racism/stereotyping [jokes are funny. being serious about it isnt]
- deal or no deal
- will ferrell's acting/movies
- steve martin's acting/movies
- horror flicks
- when nearly empty foods/drinks are put back into the fridge/cabinet
- messy houses [doesnt mean that im perfectly clean. just that i HATE the mess haha]
- when ppl that have A/C or fans refuse to put them on in hot weather
- when ppl water their lawns during the day/leave the lights/TV on when unneeded
- broken stuff
- when ppl don't take the initiative to find solutions themselves, but instead ask ?s incessantly [GOOGLE IT, GODDAMN IT]
- uggs
- carpeted floors
- cats
- turkey
- the fact that some people throw away pennies. [wtf man? send them to me!]
- southern accents
- the way some ppl say bayg instead of "bag"
- tupperware
- plastic grocery bags
- litterers
- pulp fiction
- philosophy
- going to bed early
- AM radio
- large cars. everyone should drive small cars. :-)
- when people take jokes too far
- capris
- fish
- socks/regular shoes
- when people smoke around me. headaches :-(
- when ppl smell like alcohol
- B.O.
- printer jams
- spiders
- braces
- eggs [scrambled eggs are ok, however]
- fred on youtube
- argumentative writing
- bass.
- most reality TV
- watching shows on TV
- spam [the emails and stuff :-)]
- long lines
- thinking about outer space/how insignificant we all are in the great scheme of things
- cauliflower
- when my laptop nearly burns my legs
- when people talk wayyyy too loud on their cellphones
- orange cream popsicles
- cherry flavored stuff
- root beer/dr. pepper
- sports/energy drinks
- gravy
- taco salads
- the price of gas
- jaywalking
- plain chocolate/vanilla ice cream
- hot drinks
- smoothies
- feeling jealous
- feeling insecure because of my body
- the harshness of the german language
- when people say "you don't know what you're talking about"
- when people say "no offense" and continue to offend you
- when some people wear sunglasses on cloudy days
- boredom
- how fishing/poker is considered a sport. i dont see how that makes sense.
- VPL's: check urban dictionary or watch what not to wear to know that what means
- beans
- orange and blue paired together
- how some people say "ew" to foods that they've never tried before
- crispy hairsprayed hair
- pity parties
- when people come up with nicknames for EVERYTHING
- river losses in poker
- the fact that parents cut the crusts off their kids' sandwiches
- when people throw the ends of the loaf away. wtf man?
- how facebook is now more popular than myspace :'-(
- when folks don't use their manners

that's all for now.
likes in the next post.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

take me to ireland!

besides the fact that it is beautiful, i am practically married to the culture, i am so obsessed.
their reputation of being hospitable, the wonderful ethnic music (and instruments!), the overcast and rainy weather, their sad history, their comedians, their poets, oh my lord.
my gallant celtic warrior, come sweep me off my feet.
[yes, i know i have a bf, but a girl can dream.]
oh, and i love potatoes, too.

i told you i was obsessed.
[so take me there and shut me up :-)]