Tuesday, May 12, 2009

random ramblings

sometimes i really resent myself.

all too often i look back on the past wishing i had done such and such differently and regretting that i had slacked off, or that i stopped caring. im in college now and i cant help but look back and realize that if i had only tried a tad harder or worked instead of coasting through my last year of high school that things wouldve been a lot different. maybe i wouldve gotten more scholarships and gone to a great school.

and now i look back on what ive done these past 2 semesters and im kicking my own @ss for it. i slacked off. i never tried. granted, i got As and Bs but until now i never realized how important it was for me to keep the highest GPA possible... i want to be a surgeon for god's sake. i should be dedicated haha. i always take shortcuts though :-( [i can imagine future patients writing my name down for future reference: dont go to this doctor! haha]

but really. i couldve easily gotten all As, but i never cracked open a freaking textbook.

regret leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
i guess that's why you should always listen to your mothers [or fathers].
try hard, even when u dont want to. always do ur best.
i didnt. im paying for it now! :[


at any rate, i went to the gym today and it felt good.
my day sucked overall, but somehow it didnt matter as much.
woot woot for the release of endorphins! haha.


my mom was sick today too. shes the type of person that you rarely find sitting down for more than ten minutes at a time. shes always rushing around doing something. shes usually in and out of the house, running around here and there. but today she laid in the couch for the whole afternoon and just slept and i was the one taking care of her.

it feels really strange when the roles are reversed.
my dad has been sick before. that's not strange for me.
however, my mom is like my superman. when she is sick, you know it's BAD.
she's hardly ever sick... the last time she had more than a bit of the sniffles it was like more than 6 years ago.

today she came back from the doctor who told her that if she had waited for much longer, she wouldve died. granted, they dont know what she has but that piece of news is dramatic all the same.

jeez. it's like happy mothers day haha.
she'll be ok though.

it was just kind of a bizarre day.

oh and if youre not from the US and youre reading this, you probably have heard this all already: the US healthcare system sucks big time. i dont know how many problems my family has had but oh my goodness. lets trade insurances please?

im reading to kick my insurance representative in the face.

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