Thursday, April 30, 2009


My Prince:

Sleeping Beautie's "Prince Phillip"
Your Prince will be a courageous , someone who will fight for you and quite literally die for you. He is a gentleman and will sweep you off your feet, and if anyone tries to harm you, he'll knock em' off their feet. Though never showing you anything but tender affection.

My Disney Song:

I Won't Say (I'm in Love)
You have relationship issues and you may spend your life with a glowing man. Your inner desires are often set aside so you can achieve what needs to be done. You think no man is worth the aggravation but face it, you're in love.

Those are pretty accurate haha :]

i love it

when i find things that have been lost/that i have been looking for :]

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

i washed my car today and now...

that would be a blessing.
...especially since my room is a black hole right now.

i have been "virtually"

running around for the last couple of hours haha... doing this and that on the internet for people that are little technologically challenged ;-)

well, idk if theyre computer challenged or if im just a little bit geeky :-/

i wouldnt mind, actually.
im considering taking a few computer classes and finding a job in a computer repair thingymajig.
that's weird, huh?
haha oh well.

not sure yet.
all i know is that computers entertain me :]

so, good things about today:

1. failed my biology test and i feel good about it -- i know that sounds like a bad thing, but my lowest test grade is dropped anyway. it calms my nerves haha.

2. got to take a nap before work! w00t for extra sleep!

3. i was in charge of homework club @ work which means i was inside. WooT!

4. washed my car -- IM IN HEAVEN because of it haha... i can actually
see where im driving now, which is always nice haha. and it's vacuumed for the first time in ages. i swear, it's like a whole new car now. it's de-trashed and everything. i couldnt love my little white honda civic more! it even has a full tank of gas! rock on haha...

5. went out to dinner with my family -- on a weeknight -- for the first time in years. always nice.

6. helped people online tonight. it makes me feel good inside :)

7. i have followers! and theyre TALKING to me! that's beyond awesome... but now i feel bad because i can't possibly be that interesting to read about.

and im off tomorrow!
a whole day of relaxation! :]

Monday, April 27, 2009

sometimes i wonder...

does it ever seem to you that people are more interesting in writing than they are in person?
im finding that out through blogs and myspace... people seem to be so much more
outgoing online.

but idk.

maybe im just weird?

what do you think?

in the mean time,
i would like this:

has some funny sh!t dude haha.
it makes bad days even that much better!

hahaha! i call little dogs rats too :]
im a big dog person.

little dogs = yippie & annoying :-/


im kinda stressed.
worked sucked hardcore.
haha but BEFORE it sucked, something made me smile.

i was in charge of kinders (kindergartners) and i was listening to them talk while they ate their snack.
apparently the subject of the day was crushes.
haha and this little girl named zoe goes "aidan, madison has a crush on you!"
and -- this is adorable -- he smiles and looks up at the girl and goes "madison's going to crush me up!"

i love kids and their naivety. :]

other than that, the kids were bratty and wouldnt listen for crap :-/

facebook personality quiz


Trait Explanations

In order to interpret your raw trait scores, they were compared to the first 350,000 people to complete the full MyPersonality Big Five questionnaire. This allows the way that you described yourself to be put in the context of how other people respond to the questionnaire. You should remember that there are no fundamentally good or bad personalities, as each trait description has potential advantages and disadvantages. To help you reflect on these, you have also been given some questions which ask you to consider the implications of your trait descriptions. Other people viewing your personality profile will not be able to see these.


This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 42% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is aware of their feelings but doesn't get carried away with their imagination either. You might say that you embrace change when it is necessary while still resisting it when you think it is not, and that beauty is important to you, but it's not everything.

Reflective question: When do you think that tradition is important, and when is it time for change?


This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organised, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 3.5% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is impulsive and whimsical, and fine with it! From your responses it appears that you would say that sometimes decisions need to be made quickly, and that you make them quicker than most! You would say you are zany, colourful, and just generally great fun to be with... as long as someone isn't relying on you to get some work done.

Reflective question: How do you feel when you are working with someone who is very organised?


This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 50% of respondents have a lower extraversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who enjoys and actively seeks out social occasions, but would say that they're not everything. You might say that sometimes it is nice to step back for a while and have a quiet night in.

Reflective question: What role do you tend to play in a team? (at work or in social activities)


This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 46% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who gets along with people well, especially once they have proved themselves trustworthy to you. Your responses suggest that you do have a healthy scepticism about others' motives, but that doesn't stop you from considering others to be basically honest and decent.

Reflective question: In what situations are you co-operative? When do you enjoy competition?

Neuroticism (Emotional stability)

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 99.7% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who reacts poorly to stressful situations, and consequently worries more than most about them. However, you are someone that has an emotional depth that others lack.

Reflective question: When do you not feel in control of your emotions?

Sunday, April 26, 2009


a brand spankin' new band!

Tell the Tale

im so stoked :-)
all we need to do is find a drummer! :-D

here we come!


only piano quiz tomorrow haha.
again, fnck my lazy @ss for not writing stuff down ahah.
bio EC due tuesday.
but the test is tuesday too :[

sorry i know this is boring sh!t but at least this way ill remember.

*sheepish grin*

kinda stressed now.

piano quiz tomorrow.

bio extra credit due.
im starting that like... now :-/

fnck my lazy @ss haha.


i wanna be here.

maybe it's not the best idea, BUT

im pretty stoked and kind of apprehensive about all of this. creating a band with my boyfriend? yeah, some people may say that im begging for trouble and drama here, but after 2+ years with him, i think it's worth a try.

he seems willing enough, anyway!
so yeah. that's what we've come to yesterday. he's mr. incredibly talented guitarist/vox/keys and ill probably be vox/keys as well. it's going to be grand.

as far as the style goes, it's not gonna be some indie band haha. we're both into rock and stuff so we'll probably be hinging on that and creating our own sound. er, well, since he's an amazing songwriter, i think it would be more appropriate to say that HE will be the only mainly creating the sound haha. i like adding my own touches and stuff and being involved in songwriting, but he is talented, i cant deny him that. so whatever i do, he can/will want to make better. natural perfectionist, that guy (with music anyway).

on a not-so-happy note, school is freakin killing me.
ive got papers due left and right and theyre coming out of nowhere.
im like
wtf when was this assigned?

yeah, but w/e. you gotta do what you gotta do, i guess. this time, it sucks. :[

i was reading yet another blog about the morning after emergency contraceptive pill being approved for 17 y/o now. i dont think that's a bad thing, despite all the criticism it's getting. we have to face that not all teens are safe when it comes to this kind of thing, and teens will be getting abortions whether or not this pill has been approved. am i right? idk but hey, if it lowers the rate of abortions and unwanted pregnancies, i dont think it's a bad thing. if ppl say that it's making teens more irresponsible, i am going to have to disagree a little bit. by taking this pill, they ARE taking responsibilities for their actions, however stupid they might be. that right there is responsibility. a teen who has had unprotected sex could just let it slide and take her chances. if she chooses to take this pill, she takes responsibility for her mistake. idk, i just thought i should shed some light onto the other perspective...

and im not really into preaching about controversial topics on a blog haha.
it opens up the window for a lot of nasties to come flying in.
but hey, i took my chances. that's just my opinion haha. dont abide by what i say.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

im so unoriginal. sorry krissie.

Best TV shows of all time:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The OC
3. Lost
4. Chuck (even though I don't watch it regularly)
5. The Secret Life of the American Teenager (not the best, but it's a guilty pleasure)

Biggest celebrity crushes:
1. Patrick Dempsey
2. Benjamin McKenzie
3. Synyster Gates (he's not a huge celeb but w/e)
4. Sawyer from Lost
5. Christian Bale

Books you love:
1. The whole Twilight Saga
2. The Lowlands of Scotland books
3. Scribbler of Dreams
4. A Northern Light
5. Redeeming Love

Favorite restaurants:
1. Cheesecake Factory
2. Ferraro's
3. Red Robin
4. Thai Nakorn
5. Pho Tasty ;-)

Best fast food:
1. Subway
2. Taco Bell
3. John's (not a chain restaurant)
4. Great Steak & Potato Co.
5. Weinerschniztel

Favorite candy:
1. Belgian chocolate
2. Reeses
3. Hershey's (Milk Chocolate & Cookies N' Cream)
4. Lindt chocolate balls
5. Lemonheads

Greatest cereals of all time:
1. Strawberry Fields
2. Corn Pops
3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
4. Rice Crispies Treats with strawberries
5. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Favorite cartoons when I was younger:
1. The Wild Thornberries
2. Doug
3. Hey Arnold!
4. The Magic Schoolbus
5. Arthur

im addicted


i loved a robot.

so last night i had a horrible dream... well, it was horrible to
me, at least.

the only parts i can clearly remember are the ones right before the nightmare ended.
in my dream aaron was not aaron. he was a robot. now, he looked like aaron... er, at least i think he did, yet his personality was not the same. he had a robotic yet aaron-ish personality... i dont know how else to explain it. he was aaron of obligation, without the humor, without the silliness, without what made aaron
my aaron. and the robot part of him... well, that was really weird. apparently he was a robot that was dedicated to me. he did what i asked of him (not like i asked him to do anything absurd) immediately and without question.

in the dream i remember we were in some arena sitting down together watching some show or whatever and i asked him to hold me. he put the program he was reading down and i laid my head on his lap. he held me close and i remember that i felt safe and my heart was bursting. i felt warm with love.

and the next thing i knew, i waslooking at some bizarrely empty seat and staring into the faces of a couple of graying-haired white men who were asking me why i didnt want to sit there and why i was staying with a robot. i was really flustered and i held on to my aaron tighter and told them that i loved him. i think they scoffed at me but im not sure. they starting asking aaron to be on their service and he said he couldnt, that he was mine. and yet... i knew that this aaron loved me. i could see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. he was a robot that had feelings. he was not the real aaron, but he was still mine and i loved him.

but there was a threshold of money that released him from me. i remember seeing or hearing the words in my dream "and his hand of obligation fell" or "his hand finally fell" and knowing that he was no longer mine. that he had been taken away from me. i couldnt see him because at this point i was behind a rack in a makeup section of a store that looked undoubtedly like a target. i remember seeing my aaron, who really looked like a robot now, under the service of those men. he looked at me once and his eyes conveyed to me all the devastation and the agony he couldnt tell me about. i sobbed and wept and ran around the store. i was desperate for a way to get him back but i couldnt, i couldnt.

and it ended.

i can still feel that sense of loss and hurt.
i remember what it felt to cry that heart.

it's weird. it was only a dream, but the feelings are real.
i feel that until i see aaron again, he is still lost to me.

now that im actually thinking about it, he was my edward cullen in that dream. he didnt look like him or sound like him or anything, but like edward cullen he was absolutely devoted to me. he loved me, he was charming and yet warm and cold at the same time. he was warm in his love with me but cold... he wasnt real. he was something different altogether, not human like i was. he was romantic and loved me to the core. he was my aaron without being aaron. he was like aaron when aaron is sweet and loving, but minus the retarded, silly, stupid, jokey side of him. and he didnt say much, this robotic aaron. yet, i felt every single thing he wouldve said to me. we had a way of communicating that involved no words, only feeling.

dont ask me how i know all this.
slowly these things are coming back to me.
this was a dream where i felt more than i saw.

it's so weird.

teardrops on my guitar, yeah that's fitting.
not because im crying about a boy i cant have, but just that...
idk i guess maybe me and music werent meant to be.
my guitar WOULD be stained with tears, if tears could stain guitars.

any music i make is stained with tears.

but now...
i guess what i was doing with him didnt matter at all.
and it feels like my heart just broke.

i dont know what i was ever thinking.

Friday, April 24, 2009

rock on

This song will be played at my wedding
: Warmness on the Soul by Avenged Sevenfold/Shades of Black (Instrumental) by Aaron Werstine

This song is always stuck in my head: one of aaron's songs

This song reminds me of a hard time in my life: Over and Over by Three Days Grace

I play this song when it's raining: Dance of the Leaves by Vince Madison

This song reminds me of a happy time in my life: The Acoustic Song by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

This song is romantic: Far Away by Nickelback/Forever and For Always by Shania Twain

I always play this song when I'm angry: Take Me Away by Avril Lavigne

I play this song when I'm happy: the whole Cara Dillon album

This song reminds me of my ex: N/A

This song makes me want to slit my wrists:

---Because it's so sad: What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts
---Because it sucks: Disconnected by Face to Face or Long View by Green Day

I dance around my room to this song: Just to Get High by Nickelback

Favorite eighties song: Don't Stop Believin by Journey


i want some.

just got back from work...

so my dad was a DB earlier.
i went out to have lunch with my mom and my dad before work and as i came into the kitchen, i saw my mom looking for something in the fridge and my dad looking totally pissed off. i guess i could tell that this wouldnt end well.
apparently my dad is not man enough to get his own damn stuff out of the fridge, so he told my mom to get him some "shrimp paste." i was like wtf? shrimp paste?
my mom went to get it out of the fridge and lord only knows what she was looking for... we dont
have shrimp paste. i was like, "mom, does he want the tom yum soup stuff?" and she tells me no and that i dont know what he's talking about.
she stopped looking which pissed off my dad even further, and so he finally got off his ass and looked in the fridge himself. apparently, he was talking about the soup paste which was not on the side of the fridge as he had specified.
he slammed it on the table. my poor mom was as white as a sheet.
i took one look at it and told him "hey, that's not shrimp paste. that's soup paste, just so you know."
i guess that was the wrong thing to say cuz he stalked off to his room like a 5 y/o kid and went back to bed.

what a d!ck, dude.

ughhhhhhh he needs to go back to work. it's driving the whole house crazy.
and he's a jerk when he's home too long/bored/sick.

an apartment sounds nice right now.
too bad you need money for one haha.

that doesnt look too bad, does it?

ok well, i guess that's it for now.

musings and likes.

i wanna DO something with my life.
i feel like everyone has grown up and has
progressed but me :[
sometimes i regret going to lbcc... really, i could've done so much better than this.
then again, lbcc is free...
i want adventure. i want to go someplace and experience something new, something fresh.

or maybe i just need a vacation.

i dont feel like going to work today, but hey, it's less than 3 hours right?
ill deal. i guess.

i miss high school, actually.
back then, things were actually fun.
now, stuff is complicated. im in the middle of like everything...

idk why i have this blog haha, i never have anything interesting to say.


things i
like so far about today:
1. got to sleep in
2. it's windy and im pretty sure it's cold. SCORE!
3. i was able to finally get my page right. w00t. im such a nerd haha.
4. it's friday
5. i may get to hang out with aaron tonight
6. greys anatomy online, perhaps?
7. work will probably be somewhat easy.

things i dont like about today:
1. i woke up way late.
2. i didnt charge my lappy so it's about to die on me.
3. i have to work.
4. i havent gotten ready yet. still in a towel from the shower.
5. my room is a freakin mess.
6. dad is home so i cant hang out here :[

well... i like one more thing than i dont like.
that's good, right?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

weird day.

i was a busy bee today

picked up aaron, school, towne center, aarons house, millikan, my house, petsmart, barnes n nobles, aarons house, millikan again, aarons house again, home, del taco, aarons house and now home for the night.

damn haha.
and yet, it felt really strange. idk what's wrong with my family, but something is obviously wrong. either theyre mad at me and not telling me or it's just really awkward cuz my dad's been home forever or something... idk when routine is changed i get all frazzled sometimes. i have so many things to do though, so right now im realllllly wasting my time. actually, ive been doing that all day but it's been kinda nice.

it's just so frustrating sometimes you know? my parents seem to be having such a hard time facing the fact that ive grown up a bunch. i dont always wanna be home. every time i am, there's always something wrong... i mean, i should just deal with it, but it's easier to go, as harsh as it sounds. i cant win. if i stay home, i lose. if i go out, i lose. idk how to find a middle ground b/t what i wanna do and what my parents want. i envy ppl that dont have curfews anymore and stuff, but i guess i see the point of them. i just feel funny tonight, i guess.

i wonder when ill ever move out, if that ever happens.
there are times when i really want to and there are times when i cant imagine being anywhere else. im such an indecisive person haha.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

lyrics cuz i feel like it

sometimes demons turn into angels
roses bloom from the hearts they left mangled
when youre desperate, alone and left with lies
tragedy can be a blessing disguised

today's the last day before his sun goes down
he's gonna put on his mask and ride into town
and while he's got a knife in his hands, pressed to the throat of a wife
today's a beautiful day to save a life
today's a beautiful day

there's a shadow creeping over you come to steal you away
this time it's better to face it than run away
there's only one away or another this can possibly end
so swallow your fears, suit up in pride and just pretend

today's the last day before his sun goes down
he's gonna put on his mask and ride into town
and while he's got a knife in his hands, pressed to the throat of a wife
today's a beautiful day to save a life
today's a beautiful day

every rose that has torns can bloom
and not every soul that wanders in hell is doomed
heroes and villians are one and the same
cursed, feared, greatly praised, in a lover's eyes tamed

today's the last day before his sun goes down
he's gonna put on his mask and ride into town
and while he's got a knife in his hands, pressed to the throat of a wife
today's a beautiful day to save a life
today's a beautiful day

it's a beautiful day
[it's the last day]
it's a beautiful day
[it's the last day]
today's a beautiful day

(Dr. G lightning, Dr. Shepard, cowboy, jail donor)


just some lyrics there that i wanted to write.
i think theyre good haha.
i felt gross all day :-/
i would like to be un-sick soon.
i have to read for english still :[
today was nice and cold [except for some parts in the sun yuck]
tomorrow is thursday. woot for thursday.
daddy is home until next monday cuz of some equilibrium problem in his ear. sucks.
im bored.

ahhha... ok, back to AIM and i should do my hw now.

k xoxo

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


ugh im so bored right now haha.
today was alright. hot as hell though, i hate CA sometimes.

someone take me to ireland! :]

im nervous for the quiz tomorrow even though ill probably be fine.
i think it was to do with some of the guilt i still have for skipping monday's piano class haha.
and i shouldve read the damn gov book but screw that.
it's boring and way too long.

idk why i got this stupid blog... i tell aaron everything anyway hahaah.

perhaps tomorrow shall be interesting.

perhaps in a year ill be happier :-)
i cant wait. icantwait icantwait icantwait!

Monday, April 20, 2009


hot weather sucks @ss dude :[
my computer says it's freakin 98 degrees out.
and i have to go work in this sh!t too.
f*ck meeeeeee.
wellllll good news is that poli sci was canceled today... didnt go to piano either hahaha.
so that was nice.
but i have to practice for my piano test and i got a bio quiz tomorrow :-/


Sunday, April 19, 2009

last day of break

so today is the last day of break :[ jeeeeeeeeeeeez. gettin up early, going to school, then work, then practicing for a test... not exactly my idea of fun :-/ oh well. ya gotta do what ya gotta do. but i have a sh!tload of work due in a few weeks at the end of the semester. that's gonna suck.

my aunt chantal and uncle walter went back home today, which is too bad because i havent seen my parents this happy in a long time. ive never seen them smile that much or talk as much as they have been all week. it makes me wonder sometimes what they're really feeling all the time...

things i would like right now:
1. to not feel like im obligated to go to school
2. to not have to go to work tomorrow
3. to have the 6 month diet shortened to a 3 month multidiscipline thing
4. to not have tons of sh!t to do within the next month
5. a real vacation. not just the lousy stay at home vacation deal
6. to have some demos recorded so i can find a band
7. money, for multiple reasons

damn im greedy hahaha