Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Woe is me.


Woe is Me

Nighttime again
And as usual my longings activate
I want to feel warm
I want to feel safe
Safe from this
Safe from me
Safe from the longings that will never set me free

And I
I just want to stay sane
But everywhere I go I feel this pain

Bring me back down
Fill me up
Make this hole inside me satisfied so I don't disappear

Just don't understand
How can anyone want that misery?
Well give me your tears
I'll paint them pleasing
The drops you discarded make wonders grow

Bring me back down
Fill me up
Make this hole inside me satisfied so I don't disappear

It's the sweetest joy, the wildest woe
The sweetest joy, the wildest woe
The sweetest joy, the wildest woe
The sweetest joy

Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm so excited.

This handsome devil is coming home with me around New Years.
Well, this isn't mine, but he looks like this beautiful Umbrella Cockatoo:

He was the best Christmas gift ever :]

Now, for a name...

I'm gettin' down

to some seriously good tunes right now :]

New CDs for Christmas [the latest from]: Three Days Grace, The Used, Imogen Heap, Skillet, Saosin, Hollywood Undead, Breaking Benjamin

stupid post.

I don't know why I'm doing this on my blog, but I'm so bored.
Plus, it will give me something interesting to look back on, assuming that I will have this blog for a while.
It's a little questionnaire, guys. Don't read it if there's something better out there haha! :]

Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
I don't know. I don't really shoot dirty looks at anyone.
Have you ever had a garage sale? Nope. We donate to the salvation army.. or throw stuff away.
What color is your iPod? I've been iPod-less since mine got stolen :[
What's for dinner tonight? Dinner's come and gone. We just had leftovers. How divine haha.
What is the last drink you drank? Water. Drink more water!
Last time you were sick? I don't get sick easily. Probably earlier in the year.
How long is your hair? Long. Not Rapunzel long, but almost boob-length.
Are you happy right now? Yes.
What did you say last? Sh!t, I don't remember.
Who came over last? My babe.
Do you drink beer? Nope.
Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
No, my sister is younger. I don't see how that's relevant now,
I suppose I always think of the older sibling saying that.
What is in your pocket? I'm wearing PJs. No pockets.
Who introduced you to your boyfriend or girlfriend? No one did.
What DVD is in your DVD player? I don't have one.
What's something fun you did today? Seeing my babe.
What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? A cat?
What are you listening to right now? Imogen Heap's new CD. Kind of a disappointment :[ But I still like it :]
What have you had to drink so far today? Water and a sip of Sprite.
When is your birthday? Mar. 28
Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? The tag says Kmart. Good Lord.
Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? College parking permit.
How many states in the U.S. have you been to? 3, I think: CA, NV, and does Washington D.C. count as a state?
What are you going to do after this? Talk to my love and wash up.
What is something you need to go shopping for? Dental floss.
What is your favorite kind of gum? Mint.
Do you have any tan lines? No. I hate those.
Who was the last person to call you baby? My boyfriend, but he doesn't call me that anymore.
Has anyone ever sang to you? Yeah.
Has anyone ever given you roses? Yes :D
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? I don't know. Maybe?
What is your favorite color? Turquoise.
What color are your eyes? Brown :[
What is a compliment you receive way too often? I don't know that I receive any TOO often. Or often at all, now that I think about it.
How tall are you? 5'4"
Do you like your parents? Most of the time. I'll always love them to pieces, but I don't ALWAYS like them.
Why did your last relationship end? This is still my first. Why am I ashamed to admit that?
Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? My boyfriend.
Where is the furthest place youve traveled? D.C.
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? They're tied.
Do you look more like your mom or your dad? Dad. I have his dark coloring.
How long does it take you to shower? Ten minutes on average.
Can you do splits? No. I got close a couple years ago. Then I quit dancing.
Can you use the grill? Yeah..
What movie do you want to see? Avatar! And District 9
What did you do on New Years Eve 2007? Jeez, I don't remember.
Was your mom a cheerleader? No.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 9 I think
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? All the time. Safety first!
Are you scared of flying? Hell yes.
What do you sleep in? PJ pants and a shirt.
Do you have any tattoos? I will soon:]]
Have you ever been to Los Angeles? Of course.
What is your favorite song at the moment? "Last to Know" by Three Days Grace. I think they're quite possibly my favorite band.
What song do you HATE? Bunches.
Do you like chocolate? I'm a girl, that's a given.
Are you easy to get along with? I think so.
Any upcoming events you're excited about? New Year's Eve.
Sex with more than 25 people? I'm not a slnt. Plus, I'm in a monogamous relationship.
Do you like to cuddle? Yes, but my boy is weird about that. HE likes to be the little spoon >:-[
Have you and a person ever talked about getting married? Yes, but that won't happen for years. :-/ He has big dreams.
What should you be doing right now? Sleeping.
Do you hate the last person you kissed? I couldn't.
Plans tonight? It's 1:13 am. C'mon.
What do you currently hear? "Last to Know" by TDG
When was the last time you watched a horror movie? I'm not into them. A long time ago.
Do you have any drugs in your bedroom? I'm not into that.
What is something that can easily kill your mood? Having to wait, or being rushed.. Getting into an argument.. Being criticized.
Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? How can I forget? We were in my room on my bed one day after school while we were both juniors in high school, and he told me to kiss him. When I was too embarrassed to he kissed me and then said "your turn.":]]
Do you hate the person you fell hardest for, who? How can I hate that? ^
When was the last time you had a late night phone conversation? Every night.
Will you regret your next kiss? Highly doubt it.
Do you ignore people when you're mad or upset with them? Yeah..
Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? So many times :[
Are you a forgiving person? I think so.
Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Oh yea. That's school for you.
Did you sleep in past noon today? Yeahhh :[
Talk to to your last ex lately? No ex.
Is anything annoying you right now? Having to go back to work in a week.
Is this year the best year of your life? No, but it has been a rollercoaster ride.
Is there something you want to tell someone but can't? I'm not sure.
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? My babe's bed.
Do you ever think about someone and start crying? Not anymore.
Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now? Always [heart]
Who was the last person you had an argument with? My babe. :[ About freaking dinner. How lame.
How many people have you had feelings for this year? Just one.
Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? Yes, every day :] And I still kiss him.
What's one of your locked text messages? I'll fill this in when I get my phone.
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Yes, I still am considering it.
What is the status with the last person you kissed? Lovers:]
Does anything hurt on your body? Nothing.
Is there a member of the opposite sex that knows everything about you? My babe.
What are you doing for your next birthday?I have no clue.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes.
What do you spend most of your money on? Food. School. Clothes.
When was the last time you laughed at a text message? Today.
It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Him.
Do you think if you died that the last person you kissed would even care? He'd break apart. :[
When were you last outside? two hours ago.
Who did you last say I love you to? Aaron, I think :]
Has anyone ever hung up on you? No.
Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Nope.
Have you ever kissed a brown haired person? Nearly every day.
Before you die, would you wish to visit outer space? That's scary..
What if you married the last person you kissed? I would be the happiest woman alive.
Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? Yes.
Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? Yes..
Are any of your friends virgins? Yes.
Did you sleep alone last night? Yes :[
Do you have anything that belongs to an ex boyfriend/girlfriend? I don't see how.
Is your hair naturally straight? Depends on how it's cut.
Happy because CHRISTMAS is coming up? It's over :[
Have you ever kissed the last person you kissed inside a vehicle? Of course.
Who did you last ride in a car with? My family.
Your ex calls you and tells you he/she wants you back, what do you do? N/A
Does the person you like know you like them? Yes.
Have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? No. I blog. Hahaha.
Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? Yes, that always makes me sad.
Do you think it’s a bunch of sh!t when people say “I have no regrets?" I think so.
Do your parents love you? Yes.
If your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? Of course he could.
Where do you want to live when you're older? Ireland. Or here, I suppose.
Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009? No, I'm not.
Whats something you need to get done? School. Goddamn!t

Sunday, December 27, 2009

This love -- And some rambling.

If I knew that one day he wouldn't be in my life, I don't think I would want to wake up tomorrow. It seems impossible, this love.. Not that it's hard to be together, just that it seems impossible that I could love someone this much. It's incredible. It's not love the way you love your family. Of course, I love neither more than the other. I would give my all for my family as I would for him. It's just a different love.

It's one that consumes me, to the point of obsession. Whether I have crossed the point, I do not know. This love makes me weak at times, yet it makes me feel strong and invincible, like I can do anything. It makes me feel vulnerable because he knows me inside out, which buttons to push, how to read my face without me having to make a sou

I hope I'm not making anyone gag. I just had to get this out. I've been talking to him about it, but I guess there's only so much "awww" would cover as a response. I just. I don't know what I want to say. I guess I'm here to... vent? Unleash some energy? Maybe that's it.

I wouldn't go as far to say that he's the perfect guy. Obviously, he's not. He doesn't like change, and
he is quick to get upset. When something means a lot to him, he is in no way flexible. He's very small for a guy and looks a bit too young for his age. And yet, his is perfect for ME. He makes me laugh when I am crying. He can put my family in a better mood when I think it's impossible. Whenever I first see him that day he always takes my breath away -- it's like I'm seeing the sun for the first time. My sun.

He is my refuge, my go-to when life gets tough. I think that's also what pisses me off a lot of the time as well. Since I've had him, he's always been my best friend. That's what he was to me at first, before we started dating. I helped him out with his girl problems and he helped me sort out issues I had. But now, I have a best friend who is my lover. I don't have any other go-tos. So, when I'm upset or angry at him, I have no one to vent to but him, still. I don't know if this is a good thing -- it, in a way, forces me to forgive him faster because I miss him -- or a bad thing because I never get anyone else's point of view. Maybe I've made a thousand mistakes that I don't see. I don't know.

In February we will have been together for 3 years. That's a long time, but it seems like just yesterday he was all antsy and embarrassed, waiting for the perfect time to ask me while I waited patiently for him to spit it out. We've both changed so much yet still love each other.

Sometimes I wonder if this will be forever. If he'll be my one and only. I'd like for it to be that way, but I'm also realistic enough to know that in this day and age, it isn't likely. Still, the optimist in me refuses to give up and so I have high hopes that this will work out... But that doesn't make that any less naive haha.

Sometimes I think that I should be 27 instead of 19. I want so many things that I shouldn't want. It's hard to explain while still being vague... which, I guess, means I shouldn't try to explain it. But, still it bugs me. I should be happy that I'm still so young, but I'm so eager to grow up. I need something to make me want to stay young.

I think this concludes my ramblings for one night.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

His Lullaby

Leave me a star so we'll always be together
A shining beacon to guide you if you lose your way
I'll look at it and think on your face as I last saw it
Your smile the only true thing in my world

And I'll wait for you
I will wait for you

So many days have I been so close to cracking
And so many nights have I cried
It's your touch that gives me hope, your faith that gives me strength
To go on one more day to see it through

We may be two hearts, but two parts that make us whole
Alone neither one can sustain
From fingertips to toes I have memorized your feel
'Cause when you kissed my lips, you also touched my soul

And I'll wait for you
Whatever you decide
I'll wait for you
And I'll wait for you
My heart is only yours and I'll wait for you

If our paths diverge, make your choice, and don't you worry
Let your heart lead you where you long to be
If life holds that we are meant to be, you'll find your way back
I will be right here, arms readied for your embrace

And I'll wait for you
Whatever you decide
I'll wait for you
And I'll wait for you
If it takes forever I'll wait for you

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i love this

Be careful if you make a woman cry, for God counts every one of her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal, under the arm to be protected and next to the heart to be loved.

my civil war.

This feeling eats my insides out

Consuming me
Confusing me
I want to believe I have a chance

It's plain to see
That this is not for me
No matter how much I wish it so

So I'll try to
Ignore it
But I cannot seem to

Please take me
Oh, chain me
Make me forget that there was ever a time without you
Can't you see
I want you to want me
Force my eyes to open to see the truth that was always there

This insecurity
Threatens to bury me
The longing is the weight that holds me down

I am in the dark
Listening to no one but my heart
And yet you will tell me it is wrong

Please take me
Oh, chain me
Make me forget that there was ever a time without you
Can't you see
I want you to want me
Force my eyes to open to see the truth that was always there

How can I know that this is real?
Trusting is so hard in a world this cruel
Be my anchor, keep me held so close
That only death can pry us apart

This feeling eats my insides out

Thursday, December 10, 2009

letting go

really is the hardest thing. :[
ill always love you, sweetheart.
i know youll be happier where youre going.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

another wish list :]

burberry scarf

starbucks gift card :)

any love spell scented product from victoria's secret

coexist decal

funny stickies and pillow from urban outfitters

i dont think i need to tell you what these are.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

christmas wish list

1. burberry scarf
2. CDs: three days grace, breaking benjamin, skillet, paramore, imogen heap, sarah brightman, lady gaga, etc
3. books
4. iPod touch/nano
5. amazing camera
6. promise-type ring
7. money for tattoos
8. coexist bumper sticker/decal 9. victoria's secret love spell perfume/lotion/body spray
10. exotic earrings
11. picture of ireland for my wall
12. toys/supplies for heidi
13. yummy chocolates/candy/starbucks gift card
14. nice smelling candles
15. makeup/supplies

Sunday, November 29, 2009

life at the moment

1. Where is your cell phone: On my bed next to me.
2. Your hair: is down, as always.
3. Your favorite food: Your standard burger with hot, crispy french fries. Yum!
4. Your dream from last night: It was bizarre. I forgot my final for my film class and there were cockatoos in all the trees.
5. Your favorite drink: Peppermint mocha :]
6. Your dream/goal: To help people through music or medicine, have a family, go to Ireland.
7. What room are you in: Mine.
8. What are your hobbies: Singing, writing, drawing, and learning new things.
9. What is your fear: Losing him.
10. Where do you want to be in 6 years: Either medical school or making music.
11. Where were you last night: with Aaron :]
12. Something you are not: fit. :-[
13. Muffins: Either banana walnut or blueberry. Delicious.
14. Wish list items: a unique ring, fringed purse, an iPod of some sort, and dvds from Tommy Tiernan, my favorite comedian.
15. Where did you grow up:
southern California, where I am now.
16. Last thing you did: went to the orthodontist.
17. What are you wearing: my worst jeans, paisley tank and a black cardigan.
18. Your TV:
is currently off.
19. Your pets: 2 Weimaraners, Silver and Captain.
20. Your friends: are few, but are very dear to me.
21. Your favorite store: borders, urban outfitters.
22. Your favorite color: turquoise

Sunday, November 22, 2009

my heidi<3

i snuck her into my house yesterday.

im so in love with this little girl :]

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

refreshing thoughts

i can give myself hope.
i can give myself strength.
i can be whatever i want to be in this life.
i dont need some god to make me whole.
i can pull through anything.
im alive, and i can make the most out of anything.

i think i had an epiphany tonight.
i must remember this for the times that get tough in my life.
it feels so damn good to think this way.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

brilliant, simply brilliant

Today, my five year old nephew came up to me and asked me what an orgasm was. Before I could answer he asked if it was when someone's organs exploded. I told him yes. He then proceeded to tell his mom he never wanted to have an orgasm. The look on her face was priceless. MLIA

violent tendencies.

i want you to feel what it's like to be me
this is what you make me
this is what you make me
im ready to combust, it needs to be free
it's a threat that you don't see
this is how you made me

things get harder every day

havent written in a while.
things have been busy.
aaron is sick, so im up by myself trying to get back to doing my midterm after taking a "break." im about halfway done page-wise, but not content-wise.
im tired now but i wanted to finish before going to sleep.
ive been pretty down in the dumps about music. ive thought about quitting this whole band thing altogether because i pretty much feel secondhand. it's hard to find members, esp those interested in having a female vocalist, and with a bf who already is involved in one band. im still so bitter towards them, and ive been feeling it a lot lately. i cant listen to him talk about his other band. i get so angry and jealous that i nearly lose it. i crumble inside and lately ive gotten really bad... i start envisioning some pretty violent shit. it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. like, it just doesnt seem normal, and im a pretty patient and peaceful person. i dont ever want to harm people, but with them...

or maybe it is normal. i dont know.
i failed my diet, again.
back to eating nothing tomorrow.

i swear, things are getting harder by the day.

i almost talked to aaron about taking a break the other day too.
it had to do with band stuff and i just havent been the best out there lately.
i think he sensed it, because he convinced me not to, without me ever having to tell him what i was thinking about.
i love him, but i wanted to feel loved. not like a metaphorical punching bag.

i thought of names again, too.
sad, i know, but it keeps me... sane? nah, too melodramatic.
idk it's kinda theraputic for me or something haha.

but ok:

1. freya therese (and if i have her with aaron one day, her initials would be FTW! hell ya!)
2. marina isabel
3. alanna belle
4. summer rose
5. avylon/aveline leclaire
6. jack sawyer
7. brody bay
8. chloe avylon
9. jack leonardo
10. sawyer chance

Monday, October 26, 2009

bad night.

why do you make this hard on me?
or rather, why do i make things hard on me?
it's just not fair how you can't let me be
there's only one way it can go but you're refusing

i won't
i try
but i can't

you turn your back and my stars all crumble
tiny morsels down the drain now tumble
im starving for more than you can give
this fix

every time i swear it's my last
but each time i come crawling back
on hands and knees, i'm in the wrong
there's just nothing i can turn to

i won't
i try

you turn your back and my stars all crumble
tiny morsels down the drain now tumble
im starving for more than you can give
this fix

fix this
fix this
this fix
this fix

Thursday, October 15, 2009

made me smile

"Today, I just lost a bet to a homeless man he guessed what state I was born in (an infant), how many kids my father had (0 my mom had the kids) , and how many letters where in your last name (12 "your last name"). Best two dollars I ever lost. MLIA"

"Today, I was doing PR for our city police department and talking to kids about 911. I asked a group of preschoolers if any of them could tell me what their address was. A little girl immediately raised her hand and told me that a dress was a something you pulled over your head to wear. Best answer I heard all day. MLIA."

Today a guy in my history class said he couldn't take the test because he was suffering from sexual exhaustion. Without looking up from her desk, the teacher said, "That's ok, just use the other hand." MLIA

Today, when I asked my son how hitting his brother in the eye could be "an accident," he replied, "I was trying to hit him in the nose." MLIA

Today, my friend and I were playing with an application on his iphone, which is similar to a magic 8 ball. He asked it several questions and kept getting similar lame responses, such as "outlook isn't good," "not in a million years," "ask again later," etc. He got frustrated, and exclaimed, "Oh yea! Well I bet you don't have a girlfriend, do you Mr. 8 Ball!" It responded with, "Ask your mom." It could not have been a more perfect response. MLIA.

Today, my teacher told us that he found out the gender of his soon-to-be child. It's a girl. My classmates were asking him what him and his wife are thinking for names. He said they've decided to name her Brooke Lynn. Everyone aww'd at how nice of a name, till I remembered his last name is Bridge. I laughed so hard I snorted. No one got it. MLIA

Today, my American Sign Language class learned the sign for "drinking water": to mimic moving an invisible bottle to your mouth. A girl performed the motion with her hand in a tight fist rather than her hands cupped. The teacher broke out laughing hysterically. Little did we know she just signed "blowjob." MLIA

Today, my brother had tons of animal crackers on the floor looking through them. I asked him what he was doing and he replied, "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." I have high hopes for him. MLIA.

Today in history, my teacher was talking about the women and horses that died during the crusades, and how horses were considered more important. "You can't ride a woman", he said, paused, laughed, then said "Well, you can, but I don't know how effective it would be in battle."He's definitely my favourite teacher. MLIA

Today, a man called me by accident. When I told him he had the wrong number he replied "No, you just have the wrong phone." Touché, phone man. MLIA.

Today, another physics teacher walked in to my physics class. My teacher started joking with him, and asked him, "Why don't you teach any AP classes?". In response, The teacher said "I don't know, I guess I just don't have A.P-ness." When the whole class burst out laughing, he didn't get it. It took him five minutes to realize what he had said. MLIA.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 is the best

Today, I went to the local orchard. They have a play area, with a rule sign at the gate. The first five rules were normal, like don't throw things, and wear the wristband for proof of purchase. The sixth rule was "Parents, don't leave your kids unsupervised". Underneath that, in italics, read "Kids left unsupervised will be given espresso and promised a bunny". My parents and I started cackling madly. MLIA

Today, my brother asked my mom why wearing no underwear is called "commando." She replied, "Because commando means you're ready to attack.". My mom just got significantly cooler. MLIA

Today, I was forced to put up Halloween decorations with my 3 year old cousin. She picked up a plastic bone, and proceeded to name him Mr. Boner. She thought it would be appropriate to carry around her new plastic friend, and introduce him to strangers. Thank you my little cousin for making such a boring task so incredibly awesome. MLIA.

Today, I was talking to my older cousin about how much I hate my last name, Dill. She then asked me to think about how she feels because her name is Chrystal Leer. I didn't understand until she reminded me her middle name is shanda. Chrystal Shanda Leer. I love my Aunt and Uncle a little bit more now. MLIA

Today, I recieved a birthday card from my 80 year old grandmother. The card read, "Here's 50 bucks. I still love you. Even though you never f-ing call me anymore." I now have the utmost respect for her. MLIA

Today , I decided to tell my family a riddle that goes like this: "When you have it you want to share it, but when you share it you don't have it. What is it?" The expected answer to the riddle is "a secret", but my little brother said "Virginity?" I love him a little more now. MLIA

Today, I walked into my family room to see my mom watching the video of her marriage to my stepdad, because she wanted to transfer the VCR to a DVD. I got there right in time to watch myself walk down the aisle as the flower girl. Half way down, I dumped out the remaining flower petals in the basket and put the basket on my head. I proceeded to skip the rest of the way down the aisle. Way to go, little me. MLIA

A while ago, I found out that "Liar, Liar Pants On Fire" translated into French and back comes back to say "Teller of Untruths, Your Trousers Have Combusted". I laughed. MLIA

Today, I discovered that the roof of my apartment leaks when it rains. Right into my sink. I'm still not sure if there's a problem. MLIA

Today, I was teasing my mom on the phone about my cousin who is pregnant without revealing who is actually pregnant. I was giving her hints such as they're 18 years old, it's not that surprising etc etc. Finally she said "who is it, you?" I paused slightly and asked her how she knew, she freaked out for ten minutes then hung up the phone. I don't know what's more surprising, that my mom forgets that I'm really twenty-one, or that my mom thinks men can get pregnant.

Today, we had a substitute in class. Right before she began to call the roll, everyone in my class decided that we were gonna say "chop" when our name was called. She started calling everyone's name and was confused at first about our responses, but soon went along with it. When the very last person's name was called, instead of saying "chop" he replied "timber!" and we all fell out of our seats. Easily the best homeroom ever. MLIA.

Today, while walking home I saw a banana peel in the middle of the road. I thought nothing of it until finding an empty turtle shell a few feet away. Someone has been playing Mario Kart in my neighborhood. MLIA

Today I noticed a sign on a door that said "This door is alarmed". Underneath it someone had written "What startled it?". MLIA.

Today, I was on the computer. I looked and saw the Microsoft Word paperclip guy but Word was not open. He winked at me and then disappeared. I'm worried. MLIA

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I saw a car that was exactly like mine, down to the color. I parked next to it, and left a note on the windshield that said "Sick ride!" When I was leaving the store, I found a note on my windshield. It read: "Thank you, my dear vehicular twin." It made me very happy. MLIA

Today, I was talking with this girl I met the other day and she asked when my birthday was. I told her it was September 31st. She screamed and told me that was her birthday as well. There is no September 31st. MLIA

Today I was looking through some old papers from 2nd grade. I noticed that on one of my spelling tests I had spelled "penis" instead of "pennies". I wish I could have seen my teachers face. MLIA

Today, I was texting my friend and I wanted to say "you're a weirdo" but the setting on my phone shows what it thinks the next word will be and it came up with "you're a chicken sandwich". Much better choice than my first one. MLIA.

Today, I got a book for my college class from the college bookstore. On the side of the book, there is a sticker that says "I'm Used, I'm Cheap, And I'm Available". I think my book is a prostitute. MLIA

hope this makes u smile :]

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


it rained for the first time in AGES today!
you have no idea how good of a mood ive been in.
i swear, give me some rain and ill be one happy bee regardless of what happens.
i hope it rains tomorrow and the day after and the day after and the day after...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

warm fuzzy feelings arise

doesnt she just make your heart melt?

i love babies

money can buy marshmallows.

i want to punch the person that said "money cant buy happiness" in the face.

really, you must have been a really rich stinker, because if i had a few hundred bucks laying aroun
d here, i sure as hell know that my life would be a whole lot happier.

money isnt everything, blah, blah, blah.
but it really becomes
something when you find yourself thinking of that first before you do anything.

haha im not living in a box, and im not using food stamps or anything.
but having your savings account withdraw the last $4 from your checking account and put you in the red kinda sucks. and then you feel poor.

i really need to find a better job.

a little thought i had for the day.

the journey is where ill live
in laying in bed on a sea of yesterdays
and looking up to a sky of tomorrows
there's nothing more true than the now


sometimes i crack up at the way i think of myself. i sometimes like to consider myself as a "rebel at heart" when, really, there's nothing rebellious about me. sure, we all hate taking orders and obeying the rules, but me, a rebel? yeah. the most rebellious thing i have ever done was to go to high school occasionally out of uniform... that is, by wearing a shirt without a collar. oh, im such a badass.

untitled lyrics.

it's so easy to get lost in your eyes

green, jaded like i was when i met you
but since then everything has changed
i forget the difference between livings

i used to rush in the before

now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

it's hard to remember a time before this
you're a hallmark i use to judge
can something so good can kill me?
if thats the case is it a price i can afford to pay?

i used to rush in the before
now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

can you have the high without addiction?
can you give without giving it all?
can you break the habit without destruction?
what's it gonna take to finally bring the fall?

i used to rush in the before
now im freezing in the after
deep in your pocket, im warm and safe here
sleeping soundly while everything goes by

so i'll just dream
i'll just dream
so i'll just dream here, warm here, safe here
as you pass me by